21 week update

Well, I'm feeling much better this Sunday than last, even though nothing has really changed.  We had our Level II ultrasound appointment on Friday afternoon.  It took a little over an hour with the high risk ultrasound tech going over Sprout for about 45 minutes and then the doctor coming in and and doing it all over again.  They looked for about 20 markers, but there were none!  Well, except for the echogenic intracardiac foci, which we already knew about.  That one marker alone combined with my blood test makes my chances to have a baby with Down Syndrome about 1 in 22.  Any odds worse than 1 in 270 are considered "high risk."  So, even with about a 4.5% chance, we are pretty high risk.  They offered us amniocentesis, which would give us a definite answer either way but we declined.  The thing is, the Sprout we have is the Sprout we have, and the results of the amnio wouldn't change our decision to keep the baby.  So why put him/her at risk for nothing?  I think we have come to the point where we are both prepared if Sprout does have it, but we feel like we will take our chances with the odds and hope for the best.

Anyway, 45 minutes of Sprout-gazing was pretty exciting!  S/he moves around A LOT (another reason I didn't want to do the amnio), still turns toward the camera like a star, and has cute little hands and feet.  S/he's almost a foot long and weighs almost a pound, which I guess is a little big, and that's a good thing.  Also, it became pretty clear from the profile shots that Sprout has Scott's nose and lips!  Their profiles are identical.  So cute.  When I told my Dad and brother this, they offered to break his/her nose to make it look more "Brizzolara."  Did Sprout's Grandpa and Uncle Jay just say they were going to punch my baby in the face?  Poor kid.

One thing I've learned this week is that if I ever have another kid, I probably won't do any kind of testing whatsoever.  It's just too stressful.  The last two weeks have been really depressing but I finally feel normal.  I hope two weeks of panic and sadness have not rubbed off too terribly on the Sprout.  So, let's get to the stats:

In case you can't tell, that's a pomegranate up there.  How that's larger than a banana, I can't figure out, but whatevs.


How far along?  21 weeks
Total weight gain?  Probably around 10 pounds, which puts me right on target.
Maternity clothes? GAP PANTS.  But still in dresses mostly.
Stretch marks?  None yet but thebump.com says they should emerge any day.  I'm keeping my cocoa butter close!
Sleep?  Better lately for sure!
Best moment of the week?  Leaving the doctor's office and feeling relieved, like we could handle whatever happens in November.  And seeing Sprout's little Scott face!
Miss anything?  Not really.
Movement?  I am starting to be able to tell when Sprout is awake and asleep.  Apparently, s/he thinks 10:30 p.m. is the perfect time to party.  This does not bode well for my future.
Food craving?  I can't wait to get to Chicago so I can eat some Portillo's.
Anything make you sick or queasy?  Smells!  My nose is so sensitive.  Smoked salmon and Belle's dirty ears are especially offensive.
Gender?  We are closing in on names for either one...but I get the feeling Sprout may be a hard nickname to shake off.
Labor signs?  I believe I've had the first couple Braxton Hicks episodes.  Are these labor signs?  I sure hope not.
Symptoms?  I have had heartburn for the first time in my life this week.  I had to ask Scott what it feels like because I literally have never experienced it!  They say that means Sprout will be born with a lot of hair.  Apparently, he is getting some of my genes after all.
Belly button in or out?  Still in.  I don't know for how much longer though.
Wedding rings on or off?  On during the day, but it's become uncomfortable to sleep in them anymore.
Happy or moody most of the time?  Pretty happy!
Looking forward to?  I am going to try to register this week.  I have a couple of good resources including a pretty comprehensive list from my sister-in-law Courtney.  I also am picking up my new car this week and have been working on Sprout's quilt.  I will try to have pics of both up this week.

20 week update

It's been a difficult week.

You all know how Monday's doctor's appointment went.  After the initial shock and letting my mind run wild for a few days, I decided to put it behind me, stay positive and wait for more information.  I was leaving for Virginia Beach for a vacation with some friends and was determined to keep busy and have a good time while I waited for the results for my blood test and my Level II ultrasound.

Well, right as I got to DC on Friday night, my doctor called.  The blood test did not offer the reassurance I was hoping for.  She told me that my blood showed my risk at about 1 in 43 for a baby with Down Syndrome.  I know that is still a less than a 3% chance but it's a scary number that keeps going up and up.  I decided not to go on vacation and drove back home yesterday morning.  Since then, I've been Google-ing everything I can think of: elevated quad screen + one soft marker, reliability of quad screen, other markers for Down Syndrome, etc.  Most of what I've found has been encouraging and that makes it a little easier to stay hopeful.  But the truth is, I'm afraid, for so many reasons.  There's really nothing I can do at this point but seek out all the information I can, wait for my second ultrasound, and hope for the best.  Scott is the most wonderful person in the world and I feel lucky to have him every day, but he is especially amazing in times like this.  I can't imagine anyone could be more comforting and loving than he is.  Whatever God's plan is for Sprout, at least I have my best friend to go through it with.  And we are still optimistic!

I have so appreciated all the phone calls, texts, emails, and comments from you all.  It's nice to know that in this scary and uncertain time, we have so many people who love and support us.  Thank you so much.

How far along?  20 weeks
Total weight gain?  About 7 lbs.  It looks like more though doesn't it?
Maternity clothes?  Those Gap pants are the best thing ever.
Stretch marks?  Nope!
Sleep?  It's been a little harder sleeping this week, but I know it's becoming more and more important. I'll be alright.
Best moment of the week?  I am feeling some movement!  It's just little pokes right now but it makes me laugh.
Miss anything?  No.
Movement?  Yes, and we got to see it too in the ultrasound on Monday.  Sprout sure looks like an active little thing.
Food craving?  No, and I think I've been eating less this week too but that's nerves more than anything else.  I need to wipe the slate clean tomorrow and get back on track.
Anything make you sick or queasy?  No, physically, I've been feeling great.
Gender?  We had the opportunity to find out on Monday but we're holding out for a surprise!
Labor signs?  Nope.
Symptoms?  My nose is still super sensitive but not much else.  I'm starting to notice my stomach feels large when I'm standing at the kitchen counter making dinner.
Belly button in or out?  Still in.
Wedding rings on or off?  On!
Happy or moody most of the time?  Trying my best to stay happy.
Looking forward to?  We are buying a new car this week!  Hopefully some pics for you soon.  My mom sent us a box of loot for the Sprout and there are some amazing wedding pics I will try to share this week too.

Doctor's visit

Hello all,

So I had my doctor's appointment on Monday.  First the good news.  Sprout was moving around a lot during the ultrasound and that was good to see.  Also, I am starting to feel it a little bit so I feel much better about all that.  The heartbeat was also nice and strong.  We got a lot of good pictures, almost none of which I can figure out how to make look clear enough to upload.  However, my favorite one did come out okay, so I am putting it up.  Here is Sprout turning to look directly at the camera.  I wonder where that behavior comes from? :)

This picture reminds me of our wedding cake topper!  Also, I think that looks like the face of a child who wants a  Halloween birthday, don't you think?

So, when we were finished with the ultrasound technician we were feeling pretty good.  Next up was the doctor's appointment.  This did not go as well.  Apparently, she had looked at the ultrasound pictures, and there was what was called an echogenic intracardiac focus, basically a little calcium deposit in the heart.  They are harmless on their own, they don't indicate possible heart problems or anything and they usually clear up on their own in the third trimester.  However, this can be a "soft marker" for chromosomal abnormalities.  So, the doctor recommended I take a blood test (which I did yesterday morning) and have a Level II ultrasound (which is scheduled for June 28.)  I spent the rest of Monday and most of yesterday really upset and crying and sitting in front of my computer looking up any information I could find on echogenic intracardiac focus, Down syndrome, etc.  The good news is, I'm under 35 and the other six signs they usually see on the ultrasound were not present.  The chances of my having a baby with problems are just under 1 in 100, (as opposed to 1 in 691 for women under 35 without the EIF).  The bad news is, I have to wait a week for these blood results and another two weeks before I have a more in-depth ultrasound, which I suspect will drag by interminably.  I know it's not time to panic quite yet and I also know that the doctor is obligated to alert me to any possible problems no matter how remote, it's just a really scary thing to hear and I wasn't expecting it.  I am trying to keep a positive attitude and keep busy for the next two weeks.  I really debated whether or not I was going to blog about this new development at all because I am usually a fairly private person, but writing it all out in an unemotional way makes me see that the odds are in my favor and that it's not beneficial to anyone if I spend my time wallowing in misery and "what if" land.

So that's that for now.  I've started working on the quilt and I think it's going to be really cute.  We also just got our wedding photos in the mail today so we will look at those as soon as Scott gets home and maybe I will show you some of my faves!  I'll check in with you all on Sunday, the halfway mark!

19 week update

Hey all.

Not much new to report this week.  I am still not feeling Sprout move at all so I'm glad I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.  I will feel better just knowing things are okay.

How far along?  19 weeks
Total weight gain?  We'll find out tomorrow.  I feel pretty good about it.
Maternity clothes?  Thank God for warm weather!  All dresses this week.
Stretch marks?  Hooray for cocoa butter keeping them at bay so far!
Sleep?  Can't sleep on my stomach or my back anymore and it's fairly uncomfortable on my side.  I think it's time to get one of those pillows from Bed Bath and Beyond
Best moment of the week?  Sorry Bean Sprout, you know I love you but I saw Roger Sterling this week. :)
Miss anything?  Not really!
Movement?  Seriously, no.  I know it's not time to be worried about it yet but I still can't help but feel uneasy.  The ultrasound tomorrow will be a relief.
Food craving?  Nothing really but I've been making a more conscious effort to eat healthier.  I usually eat pretty healthy but I'm going over board on fruits, vegetables and food with calcium in it.
Anything make you sick or queasy?  I've felt better this week than I have since we got back from Miami, so that's good news!
Gender?  Technically, we could find out tomorrow if we wanted but it's more fun this way.  Especially when people get all mad and indignant.
Labor signs?  No sir.
Symptoms?  Sometimes it's fun how sensitive my nose is (Scott just opened a package of salmon in the next room) and sometimes it's horrid.  Like when we went to the Asian supermarket yesterday.  Good God.
Belly button in or out?   Still in.
Wedding ring on or off?  For the first time since we've been married, I'm wearing both!
Happy or moody most of the time?  Happy, I think.
Looking forward to?  A mini girls vaycay next weekend in Virginia Beach, a reassuring doctor's visit tomorrow.

18 week update

I've come to some realizations this week:  I'm pretty much done with pregnancy books.  Almost every paragraph starts with the phrase "Everyone is different, but you may be experiencing this..." so it's not really helpful at all.  Furthermore, I'm almost at the Birth point in my reading, and I think I'd prefer to be blissfully ignorant.  Why should I freak myself out with everyone else's horror stories?  So I'll just assume that it will be painful and long and gross and not get into specifics.

Instead, I got a book about the first year or so of life so I know what to expect when the Sprout is actually here, since I am absolutely clueless when it comes to babies.  Well, let me tell you that those books do absolutely nothing to put you at ease either.  Your baby may be born with an incredibly ugly birthmark!  Or clubfoot!  Or some scary genetic disease you've never heard of!  But even if he's not, he might just die for no reason in his sleep.  So enjoy!

If that wasn't enough to worry about, I "should" be able to feel Sprout move by now, but so far nothing.  A couple of times, I've wondered, but I think it could just be digestion, you know?  One more thing to ask my doctor about in the next week.  That, and why am I way more tired now than I was the first three months?  Also, I swear I don't look that fat in real life, I was just too tired to go upstairs and change my shirt for the pic.

Illustrations this week by Scott and Griffin

How far along?  18 weeks

Total weight gain:   A friend kindly told me this week that my face hasn't gained any weight, so I'm taking that as a good sign.

Maternity clothes?  Mostly just loose dresses, sometimes my Gap pants for lounging.

Stretch marks?  Still fighting the good fight against them.

Sleep?  Delightful on our new bed!

Best moment of the week?  Weeding my whole garden and not feeling like passing out afterwards!

Miss anything?  My old body.  I feel like an unattractive blob most days.

Movement?  I don't think so and it's starting to worry me.  I'm sure it's fine but it would be nice to feel something.

Food craving?  Not really, but I have noticed my sense of smell rivals Belle's lately.  Last night we were out to dinner and I could sniff the Bloody Mary someone was drinking over at the bar.

Anything make you sick or queasy?  Not queasy but my head aches constantly and sunlight makes me nauseous.

Gender?  I had two dreams that I was having a blond haired, blue eyed girl, but I've heard that you have the opposite of whatever your dream is...so a swarthy boy, then?

Labor signs?  No

Symptoms?  Headaches, nosebleeds, soreness, shortness of breath and general fatigue.  I don't really know what to do about any of it, but I would be so happy to have one day where I feel 100%.

Belly button in or out?  In, but noticeably shallower than last week.

Wedding rings on or off?  On

Happy or moody most of the time?  Neither.  I'm either tired or anxious.

Looking forward to?  Starting on the quilt if I feel good this week (and have a rainy day)

17 week update

My feelings about this week's photo shoot can best be summed up by this photo:

Um yeah.  I'm not really into it today.  I've been feeling super blimpy and sweaty and all-around gross for the past couple of days and that makes me cranky.

So Sprout is the size of an onion and weighs about 6 ounces.  His/her little bones are forming and he/she reacts to loud noises, though I still haven't felt any movement just yet.

We just started thinking this week about how to decorate Bean Sprout's room.  It makes me feel productive since we are at a stalemate on names.  Scott feels indifferent about my favorite name for a boy and I think his favorite name for a boy will too easily become a nickname I think is gross.  So, the search continues.  At least we like our girl name.  I bought the first round of swatches for a quilt for Sprout this week too and I'll post some photos as soon as I start sewing.  I want the design to be the same as the one I made for Gino, just a different theme.  I think it's going to be really cute.

So, here's me sucking it up for the camera and pretending I love being pregnant even though it's a giant pain in the ass this week:

How far along?  17 weeks
Total weight gain?  I still don't have a scale, but if it was 4 pounds two weeks ago, I guess I am on track for the 5-10 I'm supposed to have gained by now.
Maternity clothes? I love my new Gap yoga pants, they are super comfy.  I'm mostly in old dresses though
Stretch marks?  Nope, but I'm on the lookout and constantly lotioning.
Sleep?  Pretty good!
Best moment of the week?  Having my cleaning lady come!  Haha, sometimes it's the little things, people.
Miss anything?  Grrr, let's not enumerate this week.  I just really hope Bean Sprout is like the most awesome kid ever so this feels worth it, you know?
Movement?  No, but I'm telling myself not to be worried about that.
Food craving?  Nothing specific.
Anything make you sick or queasy?  I think I'm finally over the toothpaste hurdle
Gender?  I've heard 3 people guess girl, the rest have said boy
Labor signs? No
Symptoms?  I'm a crankypants for sure.  The sun really wears me out quickly too and headaches are still a problem.
Belly button in or out? Still in for now.
Wedding rings on or off?  On
Happy or moody most of the time?  I suppose we'll say moody for this week.
Looking forward to?  Getting started on Sprout's quilt

Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone!  Remember to thank the soldiers/veterans in your life and their families for all the sacrifices they make for the rest of us every day.

16 week update

I know I promised you a glamazon picture this week, but we have a lot of work to do out in the garden so it seemed like kind of a waste to get all dolled up for yard work.  So you'll get another frumpy dump picture and you'll like it!

A lot of news this week!  I went to the doctor's on Monday and everything looks good.  Sprout's heartbeat is strong, he's as big as he should be and all is well.  I have to go get a blood test this week to see if he has Down's Syndrome, spina bifida, or a couple of other scary disorders, so I'm kind of nervous for that, but whatever.

So, this week our little Bean Sprout is about the size of an avocado, and is growing hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, and forming taste buds.  He can hear our voices, which is pretty cool, and I am now on the lookout for movement.  I had something I thought was a weird muscle twitch yesterday, but so far nothing that I'm sure is Bean Sprout dancing to my beautiful singing voice.  As for me, that "pregnancy glow" everyone tells you about is supposed to be here, so maybe I don't need to glam it up at all for next week's photo after all!  Can you see it?  You can totally see it right?

How far along? 16 weeks

Total weight gain?  4 pounds, said the doctor on Monday.  That seems....like too little, considering my appearance.

Maternity clothes?  I finally ordered some pants off the interwebs this week and am desperately waiting for them to arrive because even my sweatpants are uncomfortable at this point.  I need it to be hot enough to wear dresses all the time!

Stretch marks?  Nope!

Sleep?  Good.  Really good actually.  Thank goodness.

Best moment of the week?  Going to the doctor's and finding out everything was all good.

Miss anything?  Nope, not even a summer cocktail.

Movement?  I'm hoping this week!

Food craving?  Sausages of any kind.  Scott is making me a sausage mcmuffin for breakfast as I type!

Anything make you sick or queasy?  Toothpaste.  And milk.  So gross.

Gender?  What do you think?

Labor signs?  No.  It just dawned on me that eventually the answer is going to be yes and that is terrifying.

Symptoms?  Headaches, my hunger comes on like a tidal wave, brushing my teeth is a bloody mess, and being out in the sun for too long makes me feel nauseous.  

Belly button in or out?  It's staying in for now, but it won't be long.

Wedding rings on or off?  On

Happy or moody most of the time?  About 70% happy, 30% murderously moody.

Looking forward to?  Getting the scary blood test out of the way, and going to the dentist.